“I think New Zealand is the most beautiful part of Australia.”
Overheard when an ignorant American tourist was visiting Bay of Islands. FYI, New Zealand is an independent country and is actually a few hours by plane from Australia.
“Your skin looks like a toasted marshmallow. I like it.”
Said by the 13 year old son of a friend. We’d been comparing tans/skin color. He was referring to my forearms. Had he seen my thighs he might have described them as “dead fish belly white.”
“Moron”
A 1 foot high sticker seen in the back window of a car. The sticker just below it said “Samoa”. I wish more Americans would advertise their driving skills in this way. Actually, tattoos of “Moron” would also help in the dating process.
“We were so happy you were gone!”
The welcome home message from my favorite host brother. That’s Samoan humor for you.
“You got fat in Samoa.”
Another comment when I arrived home from my host brother. Sadly, he wasn’t joking about that. I walked miles in New Zealand but also ate everything not nailed down.
“I’d rather die than be on a cruise ship filled with Americans.”
Reply from a Kiwi when I asked if she’d been on a Caribbean cruise. We have a reputation in New Zealand, as well as the rest of the world that I’ve visited, of being loud, aggressive and rude, with spoiled children. I was very happy when I saw a few examples of rude, aggressive behavior on my vacation that it was not Americans doing it.
“Swimming Togs to Let”
On a sign in the plush spa/mineral baths in Rotorua. Why is it that I was fine with renting a towel but the thought of wearing a rental swim suit grossed me out?
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