Sexual Harassment

There was a dance performance during mass on Easter.  Despite the holiday and a joint service with a neighboring church, the crowds were light.

 

Imagine being at work and having co-workers grabbing and touching you, while making lewd comments, laughing and pointing. A nightmare? An opportunity to sue your co-workers and employers for enough tupe to allow you to retire?

In Samoa, just some good natured fun. The sexual teasing here is non-stop. I know it bothers some of the younger volunteers. Personal questions – “Who did you sleep with last night?” “Do you want to have sex with him/me?” are daily occurrences. They don’t just do it to the Palagi – they also tease each other in the same way.
We were told about it in training and we all got our fair share every time we got in a cab. “Do you have a boyfriend?” “Can I be your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife?” We were advised to laugh along and dish it right back.

I have, from day one. Luckily for me, my humor leans toward the raunchy side anyway, so I don’t find it offensive. Surprising in its frankness, sometimes, but not offended. Also amused by the junior high nature of what we find amusing. There’s a snack product here called “Pee Wee”. That name alone was worth one day’s jokes and laughs.

It’s a standing joke that one of the two male teachers is my boyfriend and the other is my husband. The men joke along. The teachers joke that I might be pregnant. I assure them I’m still just fat, but hoping to have (insert name here)’s baby soon. Name of potential father depends on who’s in the room.

Yesterday the joking went to a new level. After assembly, which usually features Christian education, bible reading, prayer and hymns , followed by administrative announcements and public floggings (ok, slappings), I was chatting with one of the female teachers as we walked toward the building. As usual, she was making sexual jokes/comments about me/my love life. And, as usual, I was dishing it back, letting her know that every man alive would prefer my sexy sixty year old self rather than her poor, pathetic 28 year old body.

She referred to a couple of body parts in the way you would in a dirty joke. I’ve heard the women talk about these “parts” before. Since I’m here to teach English, I felt compelled to correct the use of some terms. “No, only women have those. Men’s are called _________or ______________.” By then, the other women teachers had joined us. We were at the foot of the staircase leading to the second floor classrooms.

As the women asked me to confirm the street names of body parts, they started touching and grabbing at mine to make sure I knew to whence they were referring. It very quickly became a grab fest. It lasted about 30 seconds. I was slapping hands away and chastising, reminding them of the respect I deserved in fa’a Samoa as a lo’omatua (old woman) and palagi. We were all laughing hard. I was considering mooning them from the stairs when I saw one of the male teachers. Lucky for the ladies, or they would have seen the back of my bloomers.

Sexual harassment or just fun? Some would argue I was being harassed. If I thought for a second that the goal was mean-spirited or the intent was to make me uncomfortable, I would agree. But it felt a lot more like “end of term, Friday, let’s cut loose and have some laughs” behavior.

Every teacher in the school has been kind to me. They treat me with respect (other than the sexual joking) and have told/shown me they’re glad I’m there. I can only think of a couple of other teams of people I’ve worked with over the years that I’ve felt this comfortable with. If playing grab ass is one of their ways of interacting, count me in.