Wednesday, May 2, 2012


Sex is a hot topic of conversation in Samoa.  Among other volunteers and Samoans of all ages. We live on an island with only 2 television channels.  And it’s hot here.  Lots of bare chests and amazing abs.  Shapely young women wearing nothing but wet, almost sheer cotton.  Gauguin did not just fall in love with the tropics for the colors.

I may have told you the story of when I asked my fellow teachers how they had sex.  One woman, my age, immediately began to give me graphic, step-by-step instructions.  What with me never having married, surely I’m a virgin and unaware.  I quickly told her I’d read a book and had the general idea.

What I wanted to know was where.  How do you have sex when you sleep in a house surrounded by relatives of all ages?   “Quietly”, was one answer.   “Under a mat” was another.  “In the plantations, under a banana plant” was one of the most popular.

I hung out for awhile with some other volunteers recently and the subject of sex came up.  I asked them about the “where”.  Hotels, obviously.   But that’s expensive and not convenient to take a local to another town to a hotel.  Especially since you will both be recognized and reputations impugned.  Plantations and the beach were other answers. 

Plantations or beach means choosing between mosquitoes or sand.  Perhaps my libido isn’t what I think it is when the thought of walking a mile up a dark road to do it on the ground in the bushes accompanied by millions of biting insects is such a turn off.  And I confess.  I’ve lived out my “From Here To Eternity” fantasy and I recommend it remain only a fantasy.  Beaches mean sand and sand fleas.  Sand is a lot like sand paper.  Need I go further with this?

A couple of us talked about where we live.  My house is in the back of the compound.  You come here and everyone knows it.  Plus, it is almost all windows.  “Fine mats.  Cover the windows with fine mats.”  Ok, that would give privacy but wouldn’t it be a bit obvious to all 20 or so family members in the compound that I’ve got a guy in my house and all the windows sealed?  To say nothing of the possibility of heat stroke?

Given health issues here, combined with the age factor, I’d have to not only worry about STD’s and heart attacks but heat stroke?  Not a turn on.

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