Cancer and Chemo

My very old friend Aletha.  Some say the chemo is making her look younger.  I say "bah, humbug".

Most of my travel this year on my free United pass has been for pleasure.  But not all.  My oldest friend (she's very, very old...3 months older than me) was diagnosed with breast cancer in the spring.  Aletha and her husband of 46 years (told you she was old!) live in Tucson, Arizona.  Thanks, Kyle Kincaid for the amazing gift of travel on United which allows me to visit so often.  By the way, David has asked if you could rescind the pass.

The skies during monsoon season are as dark
 as my humor.

I went to Tucson in May to be there for her mastectomy.  It was outpatient surgery that was a 2 1/2 hour event.  Aletha is a tough bird and made it through with little pain and less downtime.  I, on the other hand, whined a lot about the 3 hour jet lag.

In July I went back to provide company and moral support as Aletha continued her chemo.  This blog isn't a "here's how to do chemo" guide.  It's just my experience of cancer treatment as an outsider. Aletha may wish to write a rebuttal, which I'll happily publish.  By the way, some say I have a very dark, twisted sense of humor.  If you don't appreciate that kind of thing you might wish to switch over to reading Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm.  If you don't get that reference and don't know how to Google it, you're too young to be reading this.

Because I have the mental discipline of a hummingbird on speed, I'll just list my observations in random order:

No cranky-pants in the chemo "room".

• The "chemo room" is not actually a room.  I was expecting silence, dim lighting, televisions, privacy, Barcaloungers and snacks.  And, like, a room.    Nope, I was totally incorrect.  There are a bunch of chairs (not recliners but comfortable, with ottomans) lining a couple of hallways surrounding a nurses' station.  Florescent lights.  Noise.  Activity.  And the only food was sequestered in the middle of the nurses station and was not available to patients.   Or visitors, as I found out the hard way.
  
  Actually, the donuts, cookies and trifle that were there that day seemed to have been brought by patients for the nurses.  I love the naive optimism of the nurses.  Think about it.  You poke a hole in someone's chest (they call it a port but it's a chest) once, twice or more a week.  Then you inject the patient with toxic stuff.  Stuff guaranteed to have nasty side effects (nausea or hair loss anyone?)  And then you happily chow down on food brought to you by the person you just tortured?   I'm thinking you have to really have a craving for trifle to risk it.

• The "chemo room" is not sad.   There was a lot of laughing going on.  Patients were laughing, visitors and even the nurses were laughing.  I was dozing off in a comfy chair while all around me was jocularity.  Frankly, all those happy chemo patients made it hard for me to get my nap on.  Good for them.
• Best line from a very sensitive receptionist.  As a patient walked up to register at the cancer center, the receptionist looked up and said (with a straight face)  "Oh, so you're not dead yet.".  The patient laughed and responded "Not yet, but I'm working on it."
• Best t-shirt worn by a chemo patient:  "I'm Available".  Worn by a guy who appeared to be in his late 70's.  He flirted like crazy with every woman in sight.  I like his attitude.
• The waiting room at the cancer center was quiet and not nearly as fun as the area where patients were getting chemo.  I suggested they could really use a few toddlers to liven the place up.  Really, who doesn't smile when they see laughing, tiny, chubby, uncoordinated kids stumbling around?   Aletha gave me a "look".  The next day during chemo there was a toddler.  Brightened up the whole room.  I think daycare and cancer centers should partner up.
• Free wigs!  There's a resource room in the cancer center.  There were wigs, hats, scarves and books on display - all available to be checked out for free.  But apparently only to cancer patients.  Discrimination to non-cancer patients perhaps?  Like I couldn't use a new look?  They also had an accupuncturist, massage therapist and reiki master available.  Not free but on a sliding cost scale to be accessible. They also offer yoga and support groups.
  
  I was especially excited about the therapy dog that was there one day.  How cool!  It was a small standard poodle and I enjoyed petting her and chatting with her owner.  It took me about 10 minutes to realize the therapy dog was there not for all the patients but she was her owner's therapy dog.  Luckily the owner was happy to share the love.
• Cancer is not a hobby, people!  Aletha's treatment involves a variety of appointments on a regular basis.  I don't want to spill all the beans but let's just say that for your average patient getting chemo there are weekly blood draws, injections and the chemo itself.  Now, wouldn't it be handy to coordinate those appointments in case, you know, you actually have a life to get on with?  I guess they do the best they can.  And, on the bright side - in between appointments there's time for ice cream and other important tasks.
• It is FREEZING in the "chemo room".  I took a blanket.  Aletha took a blanket.  They had blankets available on site.  But here's the deal.  It's FREEZING in just about every air conditioned building in Tucson in the summer.  I recommend just carrying a blanket with you to the grocery store, restaurants, etc.  Tucsonans seem to think keeping the indoors cooled to 50 degrees will balance out the outside temp of 110 degrees.
• Chemo may cause hair loss.  Or not, it depends on the drug and the patient.  One thing I can tell you, chemo does NOT improve singing skills.  After chemo one day we were driving home and Aletha decided for some bizarre reason to serenade me with a Tennessee Ernie Ford song (told you she was old).  Her singing was exactly the same as it's always been. Chemo has not helped.
  
  

  

  She's supposed to be eating a bland diet.
  I kept dragging her to Mexican restaurants.
  That's a cheese crisp with green chiles.
  Why can you only get them in Tucson?

• Now here is the saddest news of all.  Chemo is not a guaranteed weight loss program.  Aletha was at a healthy weight when she started.  Still is, although she may have lost a couple of pounds.  I, however, haven't lost any weight at all.  In fact, what with all the Mexican food, Jack in the Box and ice cream I "may" have gained a few pounds.  I was "chemo adjacent".  Shouldn't that mean the calories I ate while visiting Tucson didn't count?  Unfair!
• "Chemo brain" is a myth.  Aletha tried to convince me that when she'd forget something or pulled some doofus stunt that it was because of "chemo brain".  Nope.  Just age.   And something else but I can't remember.  And maybe it was me who pulled the doofus stunt.

Jack in the Box tacos.  The breakfast of champions.
And one of the causes of my big butt.

The thing about cancer and the treatment that comes with it is that it isn't your life.  Your life goes on.  Cancer is just another speed bump.  All the other good (and bad) stuff in life still goes on.  Traffic doesn't give way because you're on your way to chemo (which sucks, right?)  Strangers are still kind...or not.   Your friends don't let you win at Phase 10.  When you tackle it like Aletha does, cancer is just another thing to beat.  And unlike Phase 10, she's going to win this one.

Schnapsie still only moves when he thinks there might be food involved.

And life goes on.  

Nurse Nancy Visits Tucson

I had a great trip to Arizona in March, 2017 and went back in May.  The second trip was a bit bittersweet because while it's always great to see old friends, it's not quite so much fun when one of them is having a mastectomy.

But my friend from high school, Aletha, didn't let a bit of surgery get her down.  We prepared for surgery by throwing diets out the window (ok, she did - I eat like a 12 year old left alone all the time).  We had Mexican food for breakfast.  After her nuclear injection prior to surgery we celebrated with ice cream.  And at the same time bought our favorite candy bars, because they were there.

We also laughed, a lot.  When we went to Target to buy some things she needed for normal life, I bought bubble juice, silly string and Phase 10.  She and I played Phase 10 (made by the makers of UNO, easy and fun for all ages).  Then we taught her husband David and made him play.

The surgery was outpatient.  I believe that the way our health care is going they'll be doing heart transplants at drive-thrus soon.  Aletha came through 2 1/2 hours of surgery with no problems.  After 45 minutes in recovery, we took her home.  She napped a bit, took her one and only pain pill and we just chilled.  The next morning, we went out for breakfast and then it was pretty much business as usual.

Lousy reason for the visit, but still a good time.  I did learn that flying standby a couple of days before a holiday weekend can be dicey.  Went to the airport on Wednesday, May 24.  Flights were full so after a few hours, rented another car and hotel room.  Thursday, May 25 I got on the plane.  We sat at the gate for awhile before they said the flight would be delayed due to mechanical problems.  And delayed it was, for 20 hours.  So another rental car and hotel room.  If you rent a car at Alamo at the Tucson airport, please tell my friend Buddy hello for me.  He gave me a very nice free upgrade since he felt bad for me.  On Friday, May 26 I got on the delayed flight to Houston.  It didn't look good from there.  I was 36th on the standby list and there were five seats available.  Somehow, a miracle happened and I got on.  Thank you, United.

Here are a few photos.

I love saguaro cactus.  Oh, wait - those are cell towers, cleverly disguised as cactus.

One of my favorites dishes - Jack in the Box tacos.  If Jack knew how much I loved them, he'd open a J in the B in Lake Mary.

Antidote to stress at 6:00 a.m. before surgery?  Silly String fight!

You gotta love a town that has 24 hour drive-thrus with good Mexican food.  Aletha and I stopped in for breakfast.

First Flight on United - Home to Tucson and Yuma

When Kyle Kincaid called to tell me he was giving me a year of free flying I was stunned and so grateful.  A year to fly as often as I chose, anywhere in the world that United flies.  Yes, it's standby, which can get a bit tricky but still.  The freedom.  The choices.  When Kyle called, I was preparing to leave for Bangkok for six weeks.  I left December 31 and returned February 16, 2017.  On China Southern, ironically...a Skyteam member.

After six weeks away, waiting with my friend Lori for the arrival of baby Eileen Claire while Lori's husband Matt was teaching in Mandalay, I wasn't anxious to leave home immediately.  The 30+ hour flight home and horrible jet lag from the 12 hour time difference didn't help.  But I used the time to figure out where to go.

Heading home to Tucson was a no-brainer.  Friends, family and the best Mexican food ever.  I flew into Tucson, spent a couple of days there then drove 3 1/2 hours to Yuma to visit my cousins.  I hadn't been back to Yuma, where I was born, since the 1980's.  It has changed.  I was too busy talking to my cousins to take many pictures of Yuma but hope you enjoy all the photos of Tucson.

The standby thing did cause a change in travel plans.  I was planning to fly home on a Thursday but a massive east coast storm caused thousands of flights to be delayed.  Rather than sitting in airports with everyone else hoping to get a seat, I opted to stay in Tucson until Saturday.  More time with friends and more Mexican food.

Known as the "White Dove of the Desert", San Xavier Del Bac is a functioning Catholic church on the Tohono O'odham reservation, close to the Tucson airport.  When I was a kid we went there often to eat fry bread and pick up fire wood from a friend of my dad's.  I have no idea where my dad met Justin but they became buddies and our wood supplier.

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The next photos are from the Tucson Botanical garden.  Ironically, my first visit there.  I highly recommend it but get there early, there's limited parking and it fills up fast.  This day was perfect weather and as you can see, many of the cactus were in bloom.

This is known as a chile ristra.  We always had one hanging outside the front door of our adobe house growing up.  Ours was purely for decoration, not to dry the chiles.

The next photos were taken in the small butterfly enclosure at the Botanical Garden.  People were groaning about the high humidity as they walked in.  My skin breathed a sigh of relief after the dry Arizona air.

I liked this wall and would love to do to the wall next to my pool.

They use the fruits, like these grapefruits, in the cafe at the Botanical Garden.

One morning I met my friend Mark at a Waffle House.  His first visit to one.  Mark and I worked together in Mandalay,  If you've been masochistic enough to read this whole blog, you'll know Mark.  He's the guy who got his by a truck and I went with him to Bangkok so he could get medical care.

Not a lot of people know that Yuma is a major agricultural area.  I didn't know they grew artichokes.  

I love to see well maintained fields.

You know that fancy, tiny colored lettuce you get at high priced restaurants?  Here's where it comes from.  

Virtually all the work is done by Mexicans.  Expect your vegetables to be harder to come by and much more expensive during the next four years,

Back in Tucson, a not-great photo of the Rincon mountains.  I don't know how I left Yuma without a photo of any of my cousins.  First time we'd been together in about 40 years and it never occurred to us to take a photo together.

I did get a picture of my friend from high school, Aletha.  She and David have been married for about 47 years.  Most of us thought it would never last.  Proof that love and being best friends first makes a marriage.

The next photos I took at the Saguaro National Park (East).  This isn't far from where I grew up.  Back in the 1950's when I moved to Tucson, our neighborhood was on the outskirts of Tucson and looked a lot like this.  That neighborhood is now in the middle of town.

That's a saguaro on the left and an ocatillo on the right.

That's a creosote bush in the foreground.  The smell after a rain storm is wonderful.  In 1996 my dad was ill.  My brother and I flew in to Phoenix, then drove down to visit him.  It was evening and there'd been a brief shower.  We stopped to just enjoy the smell , the stars and the silence.  Then we started arguing about where to have dinner when we got to Tucson.  I miss my brother.

This is a dry creek bed, or what we called an arroyo (the Spanish word for it) when I was a kid.  We had one behind our house and my parents were adamant that we not play in it during monsoon season.  May look safe here but literally in seconds it can be filled with a 10 foot wall of water.  During dry season we used to play in the arroyo a lot.  We collected "sand rubies" (garnets) and iron filings, which we collected with magnets.

This is a cholla or "jumping" cactus.  I can't describe how many of these I had stuck in me as a kid.  Best way to get them off is to use two sticks.  If you try to do it with your hands, they will "jump" to stick you there, too.  I think my brother spent more time picking these off me than playing.  We fought about that, too.  Big brothers.

I do not recommend stepping on one of these in rubber flip flops.  They will be impaled onto your foot and your brother will hurt himself laughing at you as you hop home, crying.  I really do miss my brother.

Having grown up in southern Arizona, I consider myself a connoiseur of Mexican food.  Which is why, when I tell you that Jack in the Box has the best greasy tacos in the world, you should believe me.  Jack, come on, move back to Florida! 

This cute kid was happy to have his photo taken as he handed over my JitB tacos.

Breakfast - cheese enchiladas with beans and rice from a 24 hour drive-through place.  Tucson has lots of them.  Good, cheap food.  If we had one in Lake Mary I'd have to buy a bigger car.