First Things First

Relocating from one country to another is a bit of a challenge.  The good news is that I traveled light.  After 2 1/2 years in Myanmar I was able to bring home all my belongings in 2 suitcases.  That was the easy part.

Stepping back into my old life in Florida involved a bit more.  The first thing I wanted and needed to do was to buy a new car.  I'd sold my old one when I moved to Myanmar and needed to get a new one.  As someone raised in the suburbs and used to having a car, I'd become obsessed with transportation over the past five years without one.

In Samoa, I walked in the village and took the bus to get to the market.  It was cheap and convenient, in the sense that the bus would stop wherever I happened to be standing by the road.  Of course the buses didn't really run on a schedule which meant that I could spend all day standing by the road, waiting.  One thing that could be depended on was that they operated based on the driver's needs.  If he didn't feel like driving, no bus.  If he had a chance to make extra money by taking a busload of family members to a funeral, no bus. 

When the bus did pick me up I never knew what to expect.  Sometimes it would be almost empty and I could lean back against the wood seat, let the breeze blow the sweat off and enjoy the views of the lagoon.  More frequently, the bus was already packed before I got on.  Usually, as a nod to my age and status as a foreign teacher, someone near the front got up so I could have their seat.  I also inherited whoever was sitting on their lap.  I was always grateful when it was just a few young children.  It was less fun when it was a 200 lb. woman.  In any case, the bus got me where I was going.

In Mandalay my transportation was either the school bus or a taxi.  The school bus was free.  It also got me a lot of attention when the giant bus rolled up on the narrow street in front of my doctor's office.  I never had to sign in for treatment since the bus announced that there was a sick foreign teacher coming in.  Usually, I took a taxi.  I'll save the many stories of my adventures with Myanmar taxi drivers for another post but usually they were reliable, although expensive, by Myanmar standards.

The one consistent thing about my transportation over the last five years was that I was at the mercy of someone else.  When they wanted to go and sometimes where they wanted to go.  I was very excited about regaining the freedom that comes with having my own car.

Before flying back to Orlando I did a lot of research on which car to buy.  I might as well admit that while most tourists return from two months of traveling around Thailand and Vietnam with stories about temples, festivals and beaches, I can regale you with stories of iced coffee and hour upon hour perusing carmax.com.

The obsession I seemed to have developed about which car to buy (or lease?  Perhaps I should research that!) made me realize that decision-making doesn't get faster or easier as I age.  Hmm, perhaps I should do some research on that.

As I flew to Orlando from Bangkok, I spent much of the 33 hours thinking of what awaited me.  Including a car.  I planned to rent a car at the airport and then start car shopping in earnest the next day.  There was a slight glitch in that plan, though.  When I arrived at the off-site car rental location where I'd reserved a reasonably priced rental, I learned that things had changed a bit in my absence.  I knew I had to have a credit card.  No problem, I had two!  Unfortunately, neither was acceptable because they had "debit" on them.  After taking a deep breath, I hauled my luggage (I was feeling like I hadn't really packed that lightly by this point) back on the shuttle van and headed back to the airport.

An hour later I drove off in a shiny new, tiny rental car, which I'd rented for an exorbitant amount.  At that point I was physically exhausted but on an adrenaline high.  It was only 1:00 p.m. and I was going to pass a car dealer on my way home so why not check out a car on my way home?   I'd done my research, been in touch with the dealer via internet and I'd only been awake for 40 hours or so.  Really, what could go wrong?

I discovered another change since I'd last lived in the U.S. and bought a car.  It is not a fast process.  Even though I'd talked to the dealer about the specific vehicle I wanted to buy, it took six hours to seal the deal.  By then my adrenaline had worn off and I just wanted a shower and sleep.  You'd think my smell along would have encouraged them to speed up the process.

I drove my new car home in the dark, having never seen it in sunlight.  By the time I signed the deal I wasn't even sure anymore what features I was getting or what color it was.  I didn't care at that point.

After a good night's sleep, I raced to the garage.  There was a car!  My car!  Full of gas and ready to take me on adventures!  I'll miss the company I always had when I traveled in Samoa and Myanmar but I'll get by.

Recent Photos at School in Mandalay

I enjoyed my career as a management consultant.  But I love teaching first grade.  The money is vastly different, but the day to day work is so satisfying.  Even on days when a lesson doesn't work or the kids are on the wild side.  These are photos from Social Studies yesterday.  We are studying world cultures and started with Samoa.  The kids were making candy ulas.  It may look calm and quiet but let me assure, it was nuts.  If I had heard "Teacher Nancy" yelled one more time, I might have jumped out the window.  But really, how can you not love those smiles?

Music and Leaving

The last few days I've had a several songs that have been a mental soundtrack to my life.  "Leaving on a jet plane"  "Last dance"  "And now you're gone, gone gone".  The music world abounds with songs about leave takings.  Saying goodbye to someone you love.  Saying goodbye to something you love.  Saying goodbye to a finished chapter in your life.

I'm not good at goodbyes.  And I hate extended goodbyes.  That was hard in Samoa.  It was like pulling off a band-aid, one millimeter at a time.  It was slow and painful.

Leaving Malawi is easier.  I've been here three months, not 26 months.  I like the friends I've made here and hope to stay in touch, but I haven't had time to learn to love them and for them to have become woven into my life.

And leaving is coming so quickly.  I'm pooped because of the level of work and activities the last few weeks and am ready for a vacation, but it's also been a good distraction.  I suspect it won't really hit me until I'm cooling my heels in the Lilongwe airport, waiting to take the bus out to the plane.

There was a moment last Saturday, when I said goodbye to Paul's family.  Luckily, his kids didn't really understand that it was the last time we'll probably be together.  To them, it was just "see you later" as they hugged and kissed me.

I should be packing right now.  I hate packing. It's not really that hard nor that time consuming, but I build it to epic proportions in my head.  I've actually already done the tough part of packing - in my head.  My big suitcase will carry souvenirs, gifts and the clothes I brought and never wore (it does NOT get cold enough in Malawi for winter clothes).  One roll aboard bag will hold the clothes/gifts for my visit to Armenia.

The other roll aboard will carry my computer, a change of clothes, toiletries/drugs and my airplane necessities.  They include a small down throw which was a Christmas gift years ago (thank you, G &V!) and is great on chilly planes.  Mr. Kindle, of course, to keep me amused with reading and games during layovers.  Noise cancelling head phones which make a HUGE difference.  After going through two sets of Bose (expensive) head phones, I found a pair for this trip which were $79 and very close to Bose performance.  They're made by AblePlanet.  I'll also have my sleep mask, hand lotion and saline nasal spray.  Yes, I've got this flying thing down to a science.

I don't want to leave Malawi.  I really like it here.  But I'm ready to be home for a bit, spend time with friends and make some money.

If you know of a job for a "young at heart" woman with consulting, teaching and volunteer experience, keep me in mind.  Currently I'm eyeing an open position for assistant manager at the Taco Bell in Lake Mary.  Close to home, not the head honcho and I'm guessing I'd get all the free tacos I could eat.  Could be a dream job.

Samoa / Nairobi, Kenya

I couldn't help noticing some similarities between Samoa and Nairobi.  In no particular order, here they are.

People notice I'm white.  I stand out in a crowd.

Some children smile when they see me.  Some scream in terror.  Most just stare.

People are surprised to see a tourist using local transport.  Taxis are much easier, but also about 100 times the price.

Fresh mangoes are in season.  Much cheaper than either the US or Samoa.

There is loud music on the local transport.  You can take either buses (where they allow only one person per seat) or the vans (which are like Samoa and pile them in).  I opted for the van since it came first and wasn't too crowded.

They have a "bus boy" on the vans.  The guy has basically the same role as the guys in Samoa- crowd control and they handle the money in Kenya.

People smile and say hello on the street.

Expats seem to live in very expensive and luxurious apartments and houses. The difference between here and Samoa is that here they are very heavily guarded.

Everyone but me has a cell phone.

Some differences?

Kenya has cheese.  All kinds of varieties of cheese.  I assume this is only true of the upscale places in Nairobi and not country wide.

Kenya has chocolate and great coffee.  They sell Snickers bars in my hostel, for heaven's sake.

Men here wear suits.  Or at least a shirt and a tie.

There's more but I'm hungry and running out of internet cash.  I'm off to buy some fresh mangoes and find a locals restaurant.

Missing Samoa

I'm settled back into my home in Florida and it feels great.  I'm reconnecting with friends and starting to look forward to the next adventure.  It seems that I should stop spending money and start earning some.

While I'm excited about the future, I'm nostalgic about the past and my time in Samoa.  I DVR'd Bizarre Foods the other day and started to watch it last night.  What a surprise - it was about Samoa.  I didn't watch but instead saved it so I can watch it with friends this weekend.

Instead, I looked at some photos I took before I left the village last November.  It seems so long ago in many ways.

One thing I DON'T miss is the almost always packed bus to the wharf.  

There's no "p" in the Samoan alphabet, so they have trouble discerning the difference between a "p" and a "b".

I brought some candy back from Apia for the teachers.  As with all food, it was carefully divided.  

Tulouna and Tivoli - two of my favorite Year 8 boys.  They made me smile every day and were always willing to help.

The view from where I usually sat during interval.  

I introduced the kids to the idea of Halloween and trick or treating. They had fun with it and wore the masks for weeks after.

Two of my friend Mafa's granddaughters.  The older girl is smart, cheeky and has such potential. She has an irrepressible spirit and was my faithful companion.

One of Mafa's only grandsons, Lua.  He's a master tree climber and frequently climbed the tree next to the school to fetch me tipolo (lemons).

This is Mafa and the beautiful mat she made for me as a going away gift.

Cyclone Evan

I've been trolling the internet trying to get news about how Samoa is doing in the aftermath of cyclone Evan.  The media is saying that the devastation is as bad or worse than the 2009 tsunami.

I've heard from some Pisi Koa in country.  It seems that the swearing in for Group 84 was postponed.  One posted a photo showing them ankle deep in water in the hotel lobby which is connected to the Peace Corps office.  The good news is that they're all safe and staying dry.

There are inconsistent reports of the number of people who lost their lives in the storm.  Reports say that those who died were killed when the river between Aggie Grey's and the Peace Corps office overflowed it's banks.  I keep thinking of the people I'd met who lived and worked near there.  The friendly family which sold barbecue on the banks of the river.  The family that lived next to the taxi stand I always used.  They sometimes sold barbecue too and the kids always waved like mad when I walked by.  I loved stopping to say hello and give the little ones a hug.  I hope they are safe.

According to various news outlets, the greatest concern now is hunger.  There was a joke in Samoa that no one could ever starve in Samoa because your dinner will hit you on the head.  It was true - breadfruit, papaya and coconut were everywhere.  Almost every family has a plantation where they grow taro and bananas along with other fruits and vegetables.

Now, the plantations have been devastated and breadfruit and papaya trees blown down.  The staples of the local diet are gone.

One thing I learned in Samoa is that they are strong, resilient people.  They find humor even in tragedy.  They will find a way to come back.  The many family members in New Zealand, Australia and elsewhere will help, giving more than they can afford.

And no power?  No problem.  They'll spend the evenings by lantern light, talking and laughing, being there for each other.  The power of family, community and God will see them through.

The Samoans can teach the rest of the world a lot about overcoming adversity.

What's the Training Village Like?

The training village is actually two villages that are so close together that they seem like one.  Located on the southeastern coast of Upolu, the villages are small and well-kept.  One of the villages is on the water.  It looks as if all of the houses and structures are new, because they are.  The village was essentially wiped out during the 2010 tsunami and was rebuilt “uta”, away from the sea.  That’s the second village that is hosting the training.

The “tai” (close to the sea) village was rebuilt to host the trainees.  This is the fourth time the village has hosted Peace Corps Trainees (PCTs) and they are justifiably proud of that record.  They are paid to feed and house the PCTs but the money doesn’t come close to covering the actual expenses, let alone the inconvenience and disruption caused by hosting 13 PCTs, several PCVs who are helping with training and Samoan PC staff.

Each PCT (or couple, since there is one married couple) has been assigned a host family.  Some families built accommodations from scratch, just to house their trainee.  My favorites are the traditional faleo’os (also called fale Samoa) that are small, cozy and have sea views.   Each has a small enclosed room which can be locked and is large enough to hold a mattress and small table and a suitcase, and a covered porch that is just a bit larger than the bedroom.  Each has an overhead light, just beneath the thatched roof.  There are no electrical outlets.  The faleo-os have colorful lavalavas (pieces of cloth used for sarongs and a variety of other uses) covering the thatched ceilings to minimize insects, mice and natural debris from falling into the fale.

The fale’s also have mulit-colored curtains, although the cotton is thin and doesn’t provide much privacy.  The mattress is on the floor.  The entire floor, both in the bedroom and on the porch are covered with mats – some of the mats are plastic woven mats made in China, while others are the traditional handmade falas (mats) made by the women in the family.

For someone like me, who was in college during Woodstock, the fales are a flower child’s dream come true.  The PCTs, most of whom weren’t alive in the 60’s (there is a 71 year old woman), may not have the nostalgic appreciation (I used cheap Indian bedspreads back then, but the effect was the same) but they seem happy with their tiny new houses.

Volunteers who aren’t in the traditional fales have been given a room in a family’s palagi fale – a western style house.  While several of the volunteers are living in the “tai” village, close to the sea, there aren’t enough families there to host all volunteers.  Others are in the other village “uta” about a ten minute walk away.   They’re in either a traditional fale or a palagi fale as well.  One volunteer’s palagi house has been dubbed a “palace” by her fellow volunteers, because of the tile floors and other amenities.

Most volunteers have both outdoor showers and toilets, usually connected to each other.  Imagine an outhouse that has a toilet side and a shower side, separated by a shoulder-high inner wall.  It’s a flush toilet and generally a cement shower with PVC pipe, sans a shower head.  When I’m dreading stepping under a cold shower, I distract myself by considering that I am a PCV, taking a shower under a PVC pipe.   My humor has not become more sophisticated here.   I also find pig farts laugh-out-loud funny.

                                                                                                                                             

The large fale tali malo where we’re doing the training is “uta” and no more than a ten minute walk from the furthest volunteer.  I’m housed there, along with the Samoan PC staff/trainers.  When the family (headed by the ali’i – highest chief in the village) found out that an older female PCV would be here for two weeks to help with the training they “built” a faleo’o for me to use.  I discovered last night that they didn’t actually build it, but moved it from a house not far away.  New or used, it’s comfortable and about twice the size of the small faleo’os built for the trainees.  I’ve been alone part of the time, but shared it with one of my favorite PC staff members.  She and I also shared it with chickens.  After the big meal on Sunday we were napping on our mattresses and a chicken came in the front door, walked over Teuila’s mattress and then flew out the “wall”, which is open air.  Scared the beejebbers out of her and gave me a good laugh.

At night we share the fale with pigs and dogs, since they both like to sleep under the fale.  The first night, when I was alone, I woke up and heard breathing and thought for a second someone was in the fale with me.  Then I realized a pig was softly snoring directly under my head, about a foot away.  

I’ve heard some funny stories from the new group about their first couple of weeks here, but will let them share those.  Let’s just say they have discovered that there is no such thing as alone time in Samoa – even when you’re taking a shower or using the toilet. 

Talofa lava, Group 84

Malo! (Hi!) O a mai oe? (How are you?) It's Sunday morning here in Samoa and Group 83 members are all either home in our villages, or heading home today. School starts tomorrow and lesson plans are waiting.

 I've been stalking your FB page and am enjoying your excitement. It really does feel like time has flown since I was in your shoes in 2010. Thought I'd share a few additional thoughts about PC Samoa.

About packing. Absolutely bring a bag with wheels. I have dragged mine on and off the ferry more times than I can count. It's usually loaded with books, clothes and groceries and weighs a ton. The supokakos (bus helpers) are used to it now but I remember carrying my bag to the bus and when he grabbed it and realized how heavy it was he commented "Malosi lo'omatua oe!" You're a strong old lady!

A small back pack is also very handy. I use mine for grocery shopping. I also brought a tote bag that I use to carry crap to school every day. I can't understate how much stuff you will be lugging around everywhere you go here. Remember that you won't be able to drive and will be depending on buses, walking and hitchhiking to get where you're going.

What will you be carrying? For me, it's always water, a fan and an umbrella. The umbrella is for rain, sun and hitting dogs. Plus my purse. Some carry an extra lavalava everywhere - we use them for everything and when you get soda dumped on you or a kid pees on you or or other mishaps on the bus (happens all the time), it's nice to have a clean lavalava.

About language. My Samoan still stinks, so I should be the last one giving advice, but I listened to the flash cards you created on quizlet (Great tool BTW. Wish I had internet at school and computers to use it with the kids). Samoan pronunciation is similar to Spanish when it comes to vowels. E is pronounced "eh" for example. A is "ah". I is "eee" O fea (where?) is pronounced OH FAYAH. Don't stress too much about the language. You'll have weeks of language training and lots of opportunities to practice.


On a serious note...think about why you're coming. Consider why you spent the last year leaping through hoops during the application process. I am incredibly glad I came to Samoa. I've enjoyed my Peace Corps experience so much that I'm considering applying for another two years in a different country. Having said that, I've cried more in the last two years than I have in the last 20. Samoa is a beautiful place with friendly people.

 But it's not America. We don't have the physical comforts and amenities of home but that's the easy part. Living in another culture, as a representative of the United States can be a burden. There are a million ways to offend and be culturally insensitive. I know because I think I've done them all. Constantly trying to be sensitive and get things done is wearing.

It's also a challenge and an adventure. The children here are amazing and they have been the best part of my years here. But they are children. If you aren't truly committed to working with them, helping them, loving them, then your days will drag.

I hope you come to Samoa. I hope you love your experience here. But if you're doing it because you can't find a job. If you're doing it because you aren't sure what else to do. If you're doing it because it'll be good on your resume. If you're doing it to postpone paying your student loans. If you're doing it to postpone being a grown up. If you're doing it to postpone getting a real job. Then it's going to be hard and you might not make it through the two years.

All the reasons I just wrote are valid. But you need a deeper, more fundamental reason for coming. The reason that will sustain you at your lowest times. Our group had three volunteers leave early. One woman didn't get on the plane in L.A. She decided she couldn't leave her boyfriend. Two other left after time in Samoa.

Peace Corps isn't for everyone. Leaving early isn't a bad thing if you've given it serious thought and decided it just isn't for you. But leaving early is hard on you, the other volunteers and especially on your village. It is better to not come at all. I don't want to discourage you. I just want you to be sure why you're coming. Because you will absolutely have moments when you have to dig deep and remember why you're here. It's the only thing that will keep you from packing your bags.

Lavalavas

Just to prove that I'm not just trolling Apia looking for handsome carvers, I thought I'd include some photos of the family I met when I bought some of their lavalavas.

A lavalava is like a sarong.  It's just a simple piece of cloth - always 3 yards long.  It is used as clothing, primarily, but is also handy as a blanket for when it gets chilly, to wrap and carry bowls of food, to wrap up laundry and a hundred other uses.

I bought some of these for my friends as well.  I think they are the most beautiful and unique that I've seen in my two years here.  Plain white fabric is died in layers with different colors of ink, using a carved wooden boards to create the patterns.

The woman on the left makes the lavalavas.  Here's she was in the process of putting the first layer of color on.  She has a lot of family in the USA and hopes to visit one day.

Some of the finished products hanging up for sale.

Is there anything more beautiful than a Samoan teine?

I broke all cultural norms by bringing this guy my leftover fish and chips from lunch.  Children normally are fed last and receive the food not eaten by the parents, so they usually get the basics, not goodies.  Except on White Sunday, which is coming up soon.  That's the one day of the year when they are fed first and get all the good stuff.

Wood Carvers

There's a village in Upolu that is famous for their wood carvings.  My friend Kyle (who has a great blog with wonderful stories and photos) lived there during his Peace Corps Service from 2009 - 2011.

We planned to rent a car to drive there so I could see his village and buy some carvings as gifts for my generous friends who have sent me love, candy, green chiles  and materials for my school during my two years here.

Sadly, we realized that we had neither the time nor the money for the trip.  We discovered, though, that some of his friends from the village were working in Apia.  They'd come in for the Tuila Festival last week and were staying on, carving and selling their wares near the Samoa Tourism Authority.  That made it easy - only a $3 taxi ride away.

I won't say what items I bought to take home...they aren't shown in the photos...but they're beautiful, representative of Samoa and heavy.

A large, traditional ava bowl

This is a more decorative version of an ava bowl.  He was sanding the inside just before I took the photo.

He was carving a model of a traditional fishing boat.

Ok, so I wss more interested in the carvers than the carvings.

Ava bowls of all sizes.

They were laughing, smiling and working.

The men sleep in a space they've created over where they work in this fale and only go home for Sunday to'ona'i with the family.

Big News for Someone in Group 84

I found out today that one lucky new volunteer, part of Group 84, will be living and working in ….Pu’apu’a! Whoever gets it will be lucky for a variety of reasons.

First, the bus. The Pu’apu’a volunteer (who will henceforth be referred to as the PPPCV) will be taking the same buses I take. There are a lot of them and it’s a beautiful ride, especially the part between my village, Faga, and PP. Plus it means that you can take advantage of the Tuisivi store on your way to and from Salelologa. And, you won’t be far from the Tuisivi hospital.

I didn’t realize that would be a plus when I arrived, but since it’s the only pharmacy in the area, it’s nice to have it close to get the antibiotics that I can pretty much guarantee you will be taking at some point.

Next is the school. The building is large and nice and the field is huge. Check out the netball photos – that’s your school. Complete with Mickey Mouse painted on the side, welcoming everyone. The PP kids are the ones with pink shirts.

I’ve had a chance to chat with the teachers and principal at the school. Nice folks and some speak English well. One teacher recently hugged me and thanked me profusely for the work I’ve done for her country and her children. It was one of the few times I’ve been thanked and it was much appreciated.

The teachers range in age from 60’s to 20’s and there are at 2 men. One is an expert with computers and your school has a huge computer room with about 15 networked computers. Plus you’ll have a copy machine, laminator and giant paper cutter.

You’ll have the same SRO I do. She’s terrific and although we’ve butted heads more than once on some fundamental issues, she’s a caring woman and will have your back. Plus Pu’apu’a has the best restaurants in the area! That, of course, is a joke.

  Pu’apu’a, like most villages, has no grocery store (just the small faleoloas where you can buy chicken and canned mackerel) and no restaurants. Bring chicken recipes. Lots of them.

Another plus is that another principal in our district lives in Pu’apu’a. She hosted a group 80 volunteer and is terrific. She also drives and comes into Salelologa a lot. She gives me a ride every time she sees me waiting for the bus and I assume will do the same for you. Your principal and his 20-something year old wife live near the school. She used to teach at my school and is cool. She’s the only teacher who’s invited me over for dinner or offered to take a walk with me and I assume she’ll be equally friendly with you.

Whoever gets Pu’apu’a is lucky for so many reasons. Not the least of which is that it’s easy to pronounce.

Update:  Just found out that anyone in the village can use the internet at the school for $5 tala an hour.  1/3 of going rate.  Lucky dog, oe!

More Savaii Photos

My Sunday dinner recently.  From top left - giant chicken thigh, hot peppers, squash, taro and palusami.   Palagi food meets Samoan food.  Yum.

My washing machine.  Also known as a bucket.  These were just-washed clothes waiting by my door for me to hang them out to dry.

Tino in a tree.  He's 12 and like most of the Samoan kids, an amazing tree climber.  This is the breadfruit tree that drops huge ripe breadfruit on my tin roof.

Love this little girl.  I yell "Gutu!" and the kids put their finger to their lips to remind themselves not to talk.

The Photos Keep On Coming

I am sitting in air conditioning, watching a rerun of last night's opening ceremonies for the Olympics.  Happy as a clam.

Three of my little buddies.  They carry my bags home from reading center twice a week.  They're standing in my doorway.

Some of our pigs, waiting for dinner.

I've talked so much about the sores I've gotten on my legs.  This one took about six months to heal.  This is month 4.  Many of the kids have numerous sores like this.

Sunset view from the beautiful Le Vasa resort on Upolu.  Samoa - Island Paradise.

Sex. Chicken and Otherwise

It started again yesterday.  The comments about finding a Samoan man for me to marry so I won’t leave.  A couple of names were tossed out for my consideration.  I think they’re joking.  I hope they’re joking.

I have the opportunity to witness a lot of sex here, in the animal kingdom.  Mostly chickens, although dogs run a close second.  Chicken sex is fast.  At least the act itself is.  The prelude takes much longer because that involves the rooster chasing the hen all over the yard so he can have his way with her.

While she squawks and puts up quite a fuss prior, the act itself seems to be a non-event and afterwards she just shakes smooth her ruffled feathers and walks off as if nothing ever happened.

You may wonder why I bother to write about chicken sex.  Have you ever seen it?  It’s new to me.  Just like lizard sex was new to me before I moved to Florida.  There, they did it next to my pool all day, every day.  Just like squirrel sex was new to me before I moved to Michigan.  I was amazed when I saw a pair doing it on the side of a tree, upside down.  That would take some serious concentration.

Can you tell I'm getting desperate for things to write about as I try to put off the deep cleaning my house needs?  Delving into cupboards and under suitcases where spiders and other creatures live is not my idea of fun.  I think I need to take a walk first...