One of the huge differences here is how open everything is. Although palagi (western style) houses are becoming more popular, most folks still live in open fales, which means no walls. If you’re taking a nap in the middle of the day and you live on the main road, everybody driving by will see you.
Whatever you own is on display. Whatever you’re doing is right out there. Completely different and hard to adjust to for me. I grew up with my own room. For the last umpteen years I’ve lived in my own house. The house I’ve lived in for the last sixteen years or so not only has walls, it has a wall around the yard in back so even my pool is completely private.
My Florida house is close to my neighbors but because we have walls and window coverings and a culture that’s big on privacy, I don’t see my neighbors that often. They were friendly and we’d wave and say hello as we saw each other pulling in and out of our garages. We’d chat during morning or evening walks but we didn’t know the daily routines of each other’s lives.
That is very different here. I now live on a compound that is composed of several houses. I’m still not sure how many or who lives here. Sound odd? It’s because houses aren’t set in a row like a sub-division. They’re sort of scattered, in fairly close proximity. There’s a house at the front of our property, closest to the road. I believe it is abandoned, but am not sure.
Behind that is a faleoloa (store) which is hugely popular with the school kids, since the school is next door. The back of the faleoloa has living quarters but I’m not sure if anyone actually lives there or if they just hang out during business hours and use it as a TV room.
Next to the faleoloa, in front of my house, is a faleo’o, the traditional open fale with thatched roof. I was told only one 17 year old sleeps there, but I’ve seen several family members napping there during the day and hanging out there until late into the evening.
Next to my house is the “big house”, which is more western, but windows on all sides and just one very large room on the inside. I was told that “everyone” sleeps there, except the 18 year old. That would be mom, dad, a first grader, and a brother who’ll be going back to the university next term. There are two other brothers who live in Apia while attending University.
Behind the “big house” is the kuka or kitchen. It’s a roof over an area where they make the cook fire, which is how they make food for each meal. Next to the kuka is the toilet and next to that is the shower. The shower is about 2 steps away from my back door. It is not covered and given the proximity I can tell you every time someone takes a shower.
As far as I know, the only people using the kuka, toilet and shower are my immediate family.
Sounds fairly simple, right? Well, here’s where I get confused. On the other side of me, just a few steps from my house, is another faleo’o. I believe this one is only used for hanging out, much like we’d use a porch. There’s a house next to that, along with bathroom and kuka, but I couldn’t tell you who lives there, other than one of my Year 7 boys. He’s a cousin of my current family.
In front of that house is a large western style house that I believe an uncle from New Zealand lives in, when he’s on the island. I’m basing that on the fact that his truck is parked there.
The confusing part is that because Samoans are social and have large families, it seems to be very common to hang out or sleep wherever. At both houses where I lived previously, I’d either come home or awakened to someone I’d never seen before sleeping on the floor. No introductions were ever made. When I asked, the explanation was usually along the lines of “Oh, family, you know. Visiting.” Some visits lasted a few days, others weeks. Sometimes they spoke to me, sometimes not.
About speaking to me. One of the challenges here that several of us have encountered is the reluctance of men of any age to interact with a palagi woman. There seem to be 3 categories of men.
First, and most common, are those who will literally run if they think you’re about to speak to them (remember the bus driver who didn’t pick me up because he was afraid I’d speak to him in English?) As I was settling in last Sunday, I was offered to’ona’i…the big Sunday meal. It’s a time for serious chow and socializing. I was given the option (I thought) of either joining the family or having them bring me food so I could eat on my own.
I was hot, sweaty and tired from moving all my junk but wanted to be social. I said I’d love to join them, right after I washed my face. The young man who made the invitation looked nervous. I asked if it was best if I came or not. He hastened to assure me that of course I’d be welcome. But he said he should probably double check.
He came back a minute later saying he was really sorry but that “the boys” were uncomfortable with the thought of eating with me. I get it. Language differences, the feeling that you have to be on your best behavior with the stranger, walking on egg shells because you might step on a cultural no-no. I really do get it. Ditto from my side of the fence. They sent a lovely tray of food to me.
The second category is men who may or may not speak much English, but figure they know enough to ask if you want to fool around. Or, get married. As I’ve written, they may be 15 or 75, age and marital status don’t seem to be part of the criteria.
The third category are what I think of as Westernized Samoan men. Many who have lived or studied abroad, usually in New Zealand, sometimes in Australia and a few in the U.S. They are more comfortable interacting with palagis because they’ve had experience. They aren’t ashamed of their English and seem happy to talk about their country and their life here and overseas. Some have also used their language skills to take the Romeo route. It’s been made very clear here that snagging a palagi wife or girlfriend is a coup. We’re “beautiful”, because we look different, but mostly, we’re rich and don’t have our own huge families to support.
More on stuff I’ve noticed later.
You might enjoy some of the info here. Try the podcasts for starters. More Tutuila oriented but the idea is the same next door.
ReplyDeletehttp://amsamoa-busycorner.blogspot.com/
From Pago,
John Wasko