Shenanigans

Lew recently asked about issues with hotels in Samoa. Petty theft is common here. Actually, many of the people I know would not consider it theft. It is more: “That’s nice and I’ll wear/use it now.” I’ve lost jewelry, money and M&Ms to family members. The candy hurt most. Money is money, but somebody bought that chocolate while thinking of me and paid to ship it for two months across a big damn ocean and you sneak into my room while I’m in the shower and take it? That’s enough to piss off the Good Humor man, to use a very old line.

Back to hotels. I have not experienced theft in hotels. I have experienced some consistent issues in hotels that I find annoying. Things like…
• “Toilet paper? You want another roll of toilet paper? You’ve only been here a week.” If you’ve ever experienced a turista problem while in a hotel which limits toilet paper, I empathize. It happened to me while PC (and your tax dollars) were paying over $100 a night for the room.
• “May we have another clean towel, please?” “We gave you a towel.” “Yes, but there are two of us.” Blank look. I’ll share lipstick but I draw the line at sharing a bath towel with another volunteer. Or anyone. George Clooney, if you decide you want to shack up with me in Samoa, bring your own towel.
• In the same hotel that restricted toilet paper, the staff which cleaned the rooms was exhausted. I know that because they were frequently caught napping in the rooms they were supposed to be cleaning. It became a running joke during pre-service training. We’d run back to our rooms to get something during breaks or lunch and we’d interrupt the nap of a hotel employee. They never seemed perturbed. Nor did they clean the rooms.
• I’ve addressed the issue of how often to wash sheets/towels in other entries. Some hotels seem to believe that every couple of weeks is adequate. It is not.
• Keys/locks are expensive here and hard to come by. I may have mentioned that when I moved into my new house I opened my brand new, PC provided, tax-payer paid for deadbolt lock with my hotel room key. Doesn’t inspire confidence. So it is surprising to me that not a single hotel in which I’ve stayed has multiple keys for each room.

We frequently are bunked 3 to a room. We get one key. It’s a pain in the butt to track down your roommate(s) who have left and forgotten to leave the key at the front desk. Or, to hike up 3 flights of stairs to discover that the key is at the front desk. Or, in the current hotel, to climb the flight of stairs and walk down the hall to the door only to remember that you have the “spare key” (swear, it’s labeled that) which can only be used by the back door which means walking back downstairs then up a different flight of stairs so you can enter by the back door. Did I mention that there are no lights on the back staircase and there is no room number on the back door?
• At 3 p.m. “Will you be servicing the room today?” I asked hopefully. “Of course.” replied the desk clerk with a somewhat haughty expression. Really, dude? It’s now 9:00 p.m and nobody has brought in toilet paper, clean towels or touched the beds in 3 days. Since I live in a rural village, I really do appreciate that these are luxuries. What annoys me is that it’s our tax dollars which are paying for services that aren’t being rendered as promised.

Lew, back to your original question. Is theft a problem in Samoan hotels. No, not in my experience. But Americans may notice what we perceive as laziness and lack of attention to details.

BTW, a friend wore a new dress today. It was colorful, pretty and said it all about Samoan quality control. As with many fabrics here “SAMOA” was imprinted on the fabric. However, when the seamstress made the dress, she didn’t notice that there was a “right” side to the fabric. So it appears that my friend is wearing her dress inside out. She can only read SAMOA if she stands in front of a mirror.