Saturday, October 29, 2011

Family Visit - Best Surprise Ever!

This was written on October 19, 2011


Today I spent the hour and a half before the exam with the kids again:  praying, singing and reviewing their test materials.  It was fun for me, and I hope beneficial for them.  I missed breakfast with the “honored ones” again, as did the Infant Supervisor.  I didn’t realize it but she didn’t get to school until after the test had begun.  The male teacher stepped in for us.  Phew. 

I did make second seating with the other teachers and enjoyed some koko esi (soup made with papaya, cocoa and coconut cream), vaisalo (another soup made with coconut and tapioca), and half of a mackerel sandwich. 

After breakfast I was filling out some Peace Corps paper work.  There is always PC paperwork.  It’s a government entity.  One of the teachers was glued to my side, watching as I wrote and stroking me.  This is a very physical culture and even though I spend about 20 hours a day damp with sweat, there is always someone pressed up against me.  Yesterday, it was the kids.  I realized at one point that of the five kids helping to serve, three of them were touching me.

Anyway, Meripa had her hand on my back and her thigh against mine.  Nothing sexual – just Samoan friendly.  She said something in Samoan to me but I was concentrating on the paperwork.  “What?”  “There’s someone here for you.”  I looked out the windows and saw a car.  A Samoan woman was getting out.  I shrugged.  Another parent bringing food for lunch. 

Meripa nudged me again and said “They are here for you!”  I looked again and thought “Mafi? “ (one of my favorite PC staff).  No, but who was it?  She looked familiar, but I couldn’t quite see…

By the time I got to the door I was trying not to yell “Kika!”.  It was my host niece from the training village.  I heard her say “She’s here.” And a carload of Samoans and I met on the playground.

It was Fuafa (Fa), my host sister from Sataoa, along with Kika, her niece and all Fa’s brothers and sisters from Australia.  I was floored.  I’d been thinking about Fa the night before and the fact that I was overdue in calling her.  To see her here was such a special treat.

There were hugs, kisses and a lot of photographs.  I introduced my family to the teachers.  We tried to be quiet, but I’m afraid we didn’t succeed.   It was a whirlwind visit.  They were only in the school for about 15 minutes, then I took them to my house so they could see my lux accommodations. 

I was just so happy to see Fa and Kika.  I met them when I’d been in Samoa for 3 weeks.  I spent the next 3 months living alone with Fa.  As I struggled with language, she supported me.  She and Kika, along with Kika’s mom and some other family members, gave me moral support and threw me an amazing 60th birthday party.  They gave me clothes and a specially made puletasi for my swearing in.  They came to the swearing in and cried along with me.  The three of us cried when I left for Savaii. 

They were the first Samoans I really got to know.  They epitomize fa’a Samoa.  They were friendly, generous and respectful.  We had our differences.  I’m Methodist and Fa is Pentecostal.  She believes in speaking in tongues, I don’t.  We agreed to disagree.  But living with Fa was great.  She remains the only single (widowed) woman I know living alone in Samoa.

I heard a lot about her brothers and sisters in Australia because they called regularly.  It seemed they were happy that I was living with Fa so she wasn’t alone.  So happy, in fact, that they offered to build a house for me, next to Fa’s, on their family land.  Based on the reaction today, Fa didn’t tell them that I can be a cranky bitch.  They were warm and so friendly.  I really felt like another sister. 

I knew, when I left the training village, that I would miss it.   It was hard there, in a variety of ways.  The weather, the flies, the food, the damn language, the lack of freedom and control.  But as hard as it was, I recognized that it was a very special time. 

I didn’t realize how special until I was hugging Fa and our family today.  I have trouble recognizing magic when I’m experiencing it.  Actually, I can recognize it, but can’t really internalize it.  Can’t process it to realize how important the moment is, until after it has passed.  That’s one of the many things I’m working on here.  Treasuring fully, in the moment, the amazing things I am given.

On a cultural note…my family gave me cash and two beautiful lava lavas when they arrived.  That’s fa’a Samoa.  An oso when you visit someone.  Especially if you come from overseas, you are expected to arrive with an open wallet.  I hated to take it, but refusals weren’t accepted and insistence on my part would have been incredibly rude.

I’m lucky that my teachers were on the ball.  While I was hugging, kissing and catching up, they were putting together a basket of the best food the parents had brought.  They gave it to my family to take with them.  They demurred at first, but accepted the food.  That’s fa’a Samoa.  You give whatever you have.  The best of what you have.

I told Fa that I was thinking of her especially this week because of my clothes.  Every day I wore a “good” puletasi.  Each day the visiting teachers asked where I got them.  In each case they were a gift from Fa.  I have 8 puletasis, the clothes I wear every day.  4 of them were gifts from Fa and Kika. 

BTW, the kids asked who the people were that came to see me.  They said “You looked so happy and everyone was hugging and kissing.”  I told them it was my Samoan sister from Upolu and the rest of my family.  “Really, you’re Samoan?  Your language is so bad!”  Yeah, I’m the black sheep of the family.

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