I've Got Answers

 I'm alive and well, but just in case...this is actually on display to show off the work of a carpenter who lives near me.

What’s up with the Q & A format?

I don’t know, I just find it easy to do. No theme, just random stuff that occurs to me as I’m going through the day.

What are the best things you brought with you from home?

My Kindle, headlamp, rechargeable batteries, a good kitchen knife, a decent frying pan and a medium sized washable nylon purse with several zippered pockets and a strap that I can wear diagonally across my body.  Oh, almost forgot the down throw that Greg and Vicki gave me years ago for Christmas.  It folds away to nothing, is very warm and has been a huge comfort on the chilly nights we’ve been having. 

Is there anything you wish you’d brought?

Not really.  I wish I had taken the Buck knife that I brought with me to the training village.  I use a knife here a lot – for cutting fruit, opening packages, prying stuff open, etc.  Handy to always have on hand.

Why is everybody carrying a hand towel?

A lot of people carry hand towels, but not everyone.  Some carry wash cloths.  Some carry hankies.  Some carry tea towels.  They’re used to wipe the sweat off your face.  Most people, including men, also carry a fan.  I carry a hanky and a fan. No, I don’t wear makeup, because it would just melt off during the mid-day sweating.

Does your laundry actually get clean when you bucket wash it?

I doubt it.  Clearly, based on the filthy water when I’m done it’s cleaner, but all things are relative.  After washing, rinsing as well as I can and hanging in the sun/breeze, it still smells like something that’s been in your grandma’s closet a decade too long.

How do you dry your clothes there, since it’s been raining for several days straight?

I hang them on the line under the open fale.  I’ve also learned that “dry” is a relative word and is interchangeable with “slightly damp”.

How long will it take them to dry?

Completely dry?  Probably will never happen.  How long it takes to get dry enough depends on wind.  If there’s a breeze and it doesn’t blow the rain on them, just a few hours.  No breeze and a hundred per cent humidity, it could take a day or two.

If it’s such a pain in the ass to wash a lot of clothes at one time, why did you let your laundry pile up?

Good question.  Partly because I was in Apia, so that was two days worth of clothes.  Then it started raining and the covered clothes lines were full of other people’s clothes.  Yesterday, I was just lazy.  I read a book instead.  Yes, the entire book. 

What was that young couple doing outside the faleoloa yesterday?

Eating ice cream.  It’s considered impolite to eat and drink while walking here, so people buy ice cream cones in the only store in the area that sells them, then stand outside to eat them.  In this case, they were also eating donuts.  Ice cream cone in one hand, donut in the other, alternating a bite of donut with a lick of ice cream.

You spend a lot of time sitting at the beach fale.  Have you seen anything interesting?

Yes.  Twice, I’ve seen huge schools of small fish, flying across the water.  Clearly, there were predators below.  It was beautiful. 

While waiting for the bus in the wee hours the other morning I saw a Russian submarine.  Well, it actually was probably a fisherman with a strong underwater flashlight.  But sighting a Russian submarine sounds much more exciting.

I’ve been here a month now.  I can still happily stare at the water for hours. Which is a good thing, since I spend hours staring at the water.

Do you miss any food from home?

Mexican food and anything with cheese on it.  And bacon.  And steak.  They sell bacon at the nearby store, but it’s $20 tala a pound.  It will be a treat every few months.  They sell cheese for $8, so I’ll be getting that, once I get a fridge.  I don’t know when that will be. I also crave a good, old-fashioned grilled hamburger.  They sell hamburgers in some restaurants in Apia, but they’re made New Zealand style.  That means with a paper thin meat patty, a fried egg and something similar to coleslaw.  Tasty, but just not what I crave, which is a thick, blood-red rare grilled burger on a bun with a schmear of mayo and a thick slice of sweet onion.

What do you eat?

I don’t often eat with the family I’m staying with and my ability to cook here is very limited.  I eat a lot of crackers with peanut butter.  Sometimes with jam, sometimes with avocado, since they’re in season and only $1 tala apiece.  I’ve been buying a piece of fried chicken at the market in Salelologa each week when I go in to shop and use the internet.  Only $2 tala for a leg/thigh and delicious.  My iron stomach hasn’t let me down yet, so no problems eating the street food.

I’ve been eating a lot of ramen, too.  Cheap and easy to make.  The big store that’s about a mile away sometimes sells sandwiches for $2 tala (either tuna or egg salad) so I’ve had those a few times.

I eat a lot of fruit.  There’s a star fruit tree in the yard and I seem to be the only one who eats the fruit.  There’s also vi, which is tasty.  And, sometimes I buy bananas and pineapple.  I also try to eat vegetables.  Cucumber, tuna and sweet chile sauce is really tasty and easy to make.

Having a house with electricity for my two burner hot plate, a fridge and a clean surface on which to store food and cook will enable me to have a healthier, better balanced diet, with more variety.  Meat options are very limited, though.  At the only “supermarket” in Salelologa, I’ve seen chicken legs/thighs and some fatty cuts of lamb.  I’m really hoping the rumor is true and they’ll be opening a Farmer Joe’s here.  At Christmas I bought a small piece of chuck steak at Farmer Joe’s for $7 tala.  Pricey, but I could have made a stew with it that would have been several meals. 

Why do you always keep your door closed?

To keep out the chickens and the puppy, who’s still leaving puddles throughout the house.

What kind of poop is that on your shirt?

I believe it’s lizard poop.  My clothes, along with everything else I own, is covered with poop.  Usually, it’s small and dry and I just shake it off. Sometimes it’s not and it’s messy.  I thought it was rat poop, but after a serious discussion over dinner the other night, we agreed that it was probably lizard poop, based on the color, size and texture.  Lizard poop, by the way, is not to be confused with gecko poop, which is similar but smaller and not as prevalent. 

Yes, we do discuss poop over meals.  We’ve also been known to discuss the appearance of scabs, infections and other issues we all face.  Sometimes we catch ourselves and move the conversation toward books, movies and other more appropriate topics.  Sometimes we don’t. 

Do you ever speak English?

I speak English most of the time.  People expect me to speak English and they like to show off their English, which works for me.  Plus, even though I’m still studying, my Samoan is still very limited.  I do speak some Samoan every day, though.  I’ll be speaking a lot more in school.

Do you ever watch television?

The family I live with has a TV in their fale, but I’m rarely in there.  I’ve watched a couple of movies on my laptop and I’ve listened to a few podcasts of “Wait, wait, don’t tell me” that I downloaded before I left home.  I wish I’d downloaded more.

Shockingly, since I was a world-class, TV watching, couch potato pre-PC, I don’t really miss TV.  For the last five minutes, for example, I’ve watched the puppy wrestle with the old dog, the puppy chase the chicken around the fale and the baby pigs run flat out through the rain.  Quite entertaining.

Are you going to write a book?

What, after reading this boring entry, you want more?  Yes, actually, I am planning to write a book.  I’m making notes now.  Have chatted with a publisher.  My current plan, which could change at any time, is to go around the world again when my two year service is up.  I’m planning to use my separation money from the PC to book a 4 month trip around the world on a freighter.  Lots of time at sea to write. 

The book will include a lot of stuff this blog doesn’t.  It will be more candid and will be about more than just the two years in Samoa, although that will be a big part of it.  Hopefully it will be funny and interesting.  I doubt it will get me an invitation to the White House or to be an ambassador.  I doubt if Oprah will put me on a list.  Dr. Phil may want to do an intervention, though.

My uncle always said he was going to write a book.  He was funny and a good writer, so I always hoped he’d talk about it less and write more.  He finished his book and self-published just before he died, in his mid-90’s.  I’m hoping it won’t take me that long.

 I was enjoying the shade of this tree, then glanced up.  Yes, those are coconuts, or as I like to think of them, death, waiting to fall on me.  Seriously, I have to be aware of falling coconuts. They weigh a ton and can cause serious damage.

Nice display of fa'i pula (ripe bananas) for sale just down the street. Yes, that's the ocean in the background.