Sex on the Beach

 There's no sea wall in front of my soon-to-be-house.  The good news, there's a sand beach.  The bad news:  erosion.

How many of you think of a South Pacific island and envision nubile young women, frolicking in the beach with black hair flowing and wet skin gleaming?  That’s what drew Gauguin and so many sailors, right?  Then came the missionaries and the nudity and sex disappeared.  Sort of.

We learned very quickly that strangers of the opposite sex will generally ask you these questions as soon as you meet. And by “meet” I mean any encounter, on the street, in a cab, store, etc.

·         How old are you? 

·         Are you married?

·         Do you have a “uo” (friend of the opposite sex, pronounced, ironically, “whoa”)

·         Can I be your friend?

For 10 weeks they trained us to integrate – become part of our communities.  So, if someone asks if they can be your uo/friend, you say yes, of course.  Not in Samoa.  If you say yes, you’ve just agreed to be their friend with benefits.

The topic got a lot of time in training.  What are you really being asked?  How to respond in a culturally sensitive way that doesn’t commit you to marriage or sleeping with someone you’ve known for 5 seconds.

The young female PCVs figured I wouldn’t have to worry about it, because who would even consider being a “uo” of someone of my advanced age.  Step aside, chicklettes, the potential uo’s are lining up in the village.  According to the guy who did his best to convince me to be his special friend today, there’s quite a list of guys in the village who are interested.  Rare to have a Palagi living in the village.  Rarer still to have a contemporary, someone they think they have a shot at, apparently. He was the second guy to hit on me today, by the way.  It does boost the ego of an AARP card-carrier.

I followed the advice of the Samoan training staff.  “I’m married to Iesu (Jesus)” and “You are my tuagane (brother)”  “I’m only here to teach children.” are my standard responses. 

I don’t mean to make it sound as if all Samoans are sexual predators.  I’ve had  several men invite me home to meet their families with no seeming hidden agenda.  But, there’s a lot of open joking about hooking up.  My first day visiting my new school, the female teachers teased that the one male teacher (about 20 years younger than I) could be my new uo.  He pointed out that he had a wife and 8 children.  I laughed and said “No problem.  I’ve got a husband and 20 children in Apia.”  The response to that was “Oh, that’s just your Upolu husband.  Now you need a Savaii husband.”  And, by the way, the guys get hit on as often as the women.

So far, I’m holding firm on only sleeping with crustaceans and lizards.  I’ll keep you posted if that changes, but I’m more likely to say yes to “whoa!” than “uo”.  

 View from the front door of my soon-to-be-house.